InsaneJournal

When Karime went away to college, she had promised herself that she would try new things. She lived in the dorms. She joined a sorority. She went to parties. She learned how to box. And now, she was learning how to play baseball. She had played softball, which was pretty much the same. But when she'd played, it wasn't for competitive reasons. It was more for fun, but also to help her younger sister practice since she played softball for her high school. Karime, her father, and her siblings would go to the park that was in their neighborhood and would play one of the sports that the three kids were involved in. Karime had her soccer, Angelica with her softball, and Guiseppe with his football. Karime knew that she had skills in soccer since she had been playing since she was a tyke, but her skills in baseball only went as far as what she played when she was back home at the park, and on the Nintendo Wii. To say the least, the Wii game was nothing compared to what was going on now.

She would be lying if she said that she wasn't nervous. She tried to put on her best mean mug face, hoping that it'd give her a bit more confidence in conquering the sport. There seemed to be so many things to think about all at once. Posture, where and how she gripped the back, how far or back she had to lean, how much she had to bend her knees, timing. All of those things swirled in her head all at once, and it didn't help when the helmet she wore kept shifting on her head, distracting her when she had to reach up and adjust it every so often. "I'm trying not to get you killed, Isaiah!" Karime would cry out as she kept her eyes glued forward on the machine as it cranked up to throw another. "At least I didn't let go of the bat this time!" She'd say, sounding almost proud of that fact. When another ball was thrown at her direction, she couldn't help but shriek as she swung the bat, hearing the cling that let her know that she hit it. She stood in her position for a moment, only relaxing her body when she realized that she had hit all of the ball. A small sigh of relief passed her lips once she turned around to face her friend and smirk. "Okay, I didn't do too bad, but I think this is more of your territory. Maybe one day I'll have to take you to the park so that we could play soccer." Karime said as she stepped towards Isaiah, handing him the bat before she reached up to remove her helmet.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

At least the bat wasn't thrown, was all that he could think. Seemingly caught in another world he didn't react as quickly as one would think and that made for curiosity to point in his direction. In passing he took the bat and resumed position she was in currently. The operator who was making sure each paid session was being given fairly, had reset the pre paid transaction and decided to step away to assist others in the other booths. Isaiah cranked up his bat not while swinging it back and forth for some emphasis. Arms that were sore from lifting boxes from the apartment and at work were felt. He felt strains in places that had not been worked in some time, plus on top of feeling ill, he wasn't sure how successful this would be. When on cue he positioned himself like most would and started to wave the bat with two hands before swinging at the first projectile. There was concrete concentration but it broke after the third ball. He started missing or the effort in hitting wasn't there. Trying to ignore it he spoke up over the mayhem to incite conversation. "Aye, so what's been good with you? How'd dairy queen go?" He swallowed hard feeling his throat dry up and scratchy. A true sign besides running a fever that he was sick. Something he couldn't understand. Twice in the same season was a bit much. He tried to chalk that up to not taking care of himself like he should plus dealing with so much stress. Shaking his head he cranked the bat a few more times before he couldn't try to do it again. The metal extension dropped at his side and he motioned for the operator to stop for a minute. Head hung low a bit as he rubbed his eyes and sighed inwardly. "My b. So what's been up?" He had to drag himself back to the small bench that had his duffle bag and other items. Bat was dropped and he went searching for a bottle of water, unable to wait and nurse from it. He apologized once again but only this time bringing up the excuse of how winded he was. "Let's just, talk. Because that's really why we out here right?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Bottle was emptied until there was a little bit left to actually care to consume. He glanced to the closest that her voice was and had to grab some strength into picking up that duffel bag that was more so his storage for such items. Paused in his actions head lowered a bit but he was considering just calling it off to head home. Yet that time there could be useful. He knew his game was off just by her picking up on him not looking great. That could be said by other people, and she just happened to be one of the many who pointed it out. Shoulders shrugged as he claimed the straps to his shoulder and had to start walking away from that area in order to find a space to cop a squat. He was sure that this wasn't normal but it was expected in ways. He listened about the Dairy Queen excursion but wanted to know more. Not because of this guy she mentioned but the fact he wanted to pick up on what habits that were formed while trying to step out into a world that was massive and intimidating. In some ways he saw his younger self in her and the comparisons were too much to think about. At least she never was the product of bullying, so he hoped. Looking up he nodded. "If I could jet out there, I would. Sounds like it'll be fun. Texas tho'? And there's always breaks in between. Events at school to break up the monotony, or whatever." He mentioned confidently but rubbed at his forehead in that passing of the mind. Nothing great...wasn't a great summer." There were good things that happened but they seem to be overshadowed by the worse events that could happen. Isaiah shrugged unable to pick a point to start. He really didn't want to give details other than what he had during small aim conversations. "Work mostly. Work worrying about things back home. Work. Broken promises...odd relationships with absentee parents, a relationship that wasn't about to amount to much. A wild summer, that's all." He had to start walking before just crashing where he stood and motioned for her to do the same since he forfeited on much of any batting.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

The corners of her mouth did finally curl up into a smirk at the mention of him jetting out to Texas. Was he actually going to do such a thing? She highly doubted it. But still, it would be nice to have someone else there who wasn't a teammate to be there to talk to and hang out with. She loved her teammates, and saw them as athletic sisters. But, there were times where if someone didn't follow through with a play, or if the team lost, or if people got too stressed out during the games and started to snap at one another, that's when she wanted to step away from her team. But, regardless, she was part of the team and she would always have to be there no matter what. Much like how Karime wanted to be there for her friends. Even though she didn't flutter around from person to person, socializing and making her presence known, she did make sure that she took time to speak to those who were closest to her. Once Isaiah had found a spot to sit himself down at, Karime sat down beside him. "Yeah I heard about that...well...saw." Teeth sank down into her bottom lip for a moment before a hand would reach up to tuck a few strands of her dark hair behind her ears. The girl fell silent for a moment, taking everything that he said in and absorbing it like a sponge. Leaning to the side, she'd give Isaiah a small nudge with her shoulder. "Talk to me, Issy. What has you worrying about things back home? If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to but, I've got all day to lend you my ears and a shoulder to cry on in case you want to cry."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

The kid was having a difficult time with trying to be open as others have shown him. Where he came from or those that he knew, they would make it habit not to let the cat out the bag. Isaiah picked that up and developed it due to the fact his trust was always taken for granted. He as a person was good and people that gravitated towards him could feel it. When he sat down and she was available in that regard as much he was at times it still didn't make it easy. He glanced over at her and shook his head. Things that were carried had been dropped beside his feet and he sat forward, arms dropped on his lap. With a combination of feeling overwhelmed again with things linger to the surface and him feeling physically ill, he didn't know where to start. He glanced outward at nothing in particular and sighed. "Facebook is the devils work. I understand how shit works but at the same time I don't care. People are personal anymore. Everyone's in your business but that thing with Kendall and I was done before it started. To me, I just tried to ignore it so I could focus on what looked perfect. " He shrugged feeling as if it was minor compared to everything. He was barely being audible, giving himself time to think freely. The look on his face read as discomfort. "Back home, heh. " He chuckled out of place before completely wanting to shutdown but said a few words in regards to the trip taken. Why he had to go back to see a mom who was a floater so to speak in his life, that allowed drugs and a means of destruction rule her life. Years were emphasized of how this issue was around. It went away when things were good and came back when it was bad. "I'm not going to roll with the details because it aint a good time to talk on it. Mom was in rehab and recently was released to another phase of an ongoing rehabiltation process. You know folks need support and my fam were pressuring me in a way that I had to be there...to be the reason she makes it through but, Karime..I don't know if you ever felt so much hate, guilt, and the that underlying love for someone before. It ain't real right. There's issues that her and I have and it coursed how my life is now." He was stronger than people knew always carrying some burden on his shoulders and he paid for it. "I don't know. Lately I've been on one. Trying to not remain in that spot. I sort of feel like my self is slipping. Turning cold to those that may not deserve it. I....my own friends at that. Just don't feel like they'd understand." Shoulders shrugged as he continued and he mentioned why it was abig reason he had to end his relationship. The one girl he thought could understand surely proved otherwise. And not to mention she didn't harbor the same feelings he did. "Yeah, watch out who you give your time to, kid." He mentioned honestly. There was more but he decided to leave it out and keep for himself since he was figuring things out without heading down a destructive path himself but the lines were blurred worse than before. "Shit happens, its just whether or not you built to get through it. That's it. Just sucks. Tired of always losing." He mentioned under his breath. Sitting up he glanced at his gloved hand and pulled it off.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Karime remained silent as she listened to everything that Isaiah began to talk about. It was easy to agree with Isaiah about some people not being as personal as they were before, and how people were in each other's business all thanks to facebook. Karime never had anything against facebook, especially since it was a handy tool for people to stay in touch with one another during the breaks at school. It was also a good way to get to know one another and to keep up to date on the latest happenings. But, at the same time, facebook was also seemed to keep people from having those personal conversations with one another. Instead of meeting up in person to discuss the latest events, to console someone, it was all done electronically. That just made Karime make a mental note to ease up on her use of facebook for the near future. "Wait...what do you mean that it was over before it'd started?" She had opened her mouth to ask more questions. She had wanted to ask him how things appeared to be perfect on the outside, but on the inside, it was a different story. A story that only Isaiah and Kendall knew about. What Karime also didn't know about was everything going back home with Isaiah. They had very different upbringings. There was never any drugs or substances in her family. In fact, her parents preached to Karime and her siblings how bad drugs were and how it would ruin a person's life if ever consumed. She didn't know what it was like to be under the influence of drugs, let alone, what it's like to have a close friend or relative become addicted. "You don't have to be there physically to support your mom. Just having her in your thoughts and prayers and still having love for her is better than nothing at all, Isaiah. You came here for a purpose and to do what you have to do, you know? I understand that you have a lot going on at home, but you also have to be a little selfish and focus on yourself." Looking away from Isaiah for a moment, she nodded her head slowly before speaking up again. "Yeah...I know. After Raefel, Tajo, and Jim...I'm learning that I need to be more careful. Well, if not careful, Maybe just not put all of my trust in them right away. I don't know..." She had said softly before shrugging her shoulders. Truth be told, Karime was scared. Scared of allowing herself to open up, to bare her feelings, and scared of allowing herself to believe everything that she hears when all of what is said may or may not be true. She didn't want to go through that again, or at least, not put herself in the vulnerable position of getting hurt again. "I'm tired of losing, too, Isaiah. But you know what? You won't lose forever. Maybe...maybe now just isn't your time. Things might be hard and stressful, but it'll eventually have to get better."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

The questions were inevitable and he knew so. Since he usually was vague in most ways this was not surprising she asked that question. The concept was simple but others wouldn't understand. They really didn't know the ins and outs of someone else's relationship unless they were invited in. The third party knowledge was just that to a certain degree but Isaiah just shrugged carefully before keeping it all the way real with her. It was nothing but those two there anyways. No harm, no judgment. "Simple. I kind of had this feeling everything was bad timing when we made it official. The distance..there was distance from the start, and yeah. I pretty much was holding vital shit to myself and she on the hand was doing the same. Emotionally. She really wasn't feeling me like I was. That's how it boils down to." He hunched forward again feeling more sick thinking about it because that part was so pushed away in order to deal with his family situation. As wary as he was about giving such info he couldn't hold much really. "Well it ain't easy, cause..we have issues to iron out. Drugs or not. It goes deeper than that. So it was some shit I had to do, and it ain't over." He understood about trying to be selfish and he was trying to be but at the same time not lock out blood. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye while she briefly sprung on the idea that followed his about giving time to those who don't deserve it. "Yeah don't just trust anyone. Let them prove it, because they'll take advantage of it. It leaves you jaded after while and you really don't want to trust anyone, even those who have your back, feel me? Trust me, its a battle these days. All those dudes..are suppose to be a lesson, so yeah you know but it ain't over. It probably won't ever be over. If you set yourself up for it, sometimes it pains after the crash but you learn from it." Eyes closed as arms crossed over his stomach and knowing his face was getting warmer by the moment. He ignored the signs and shrugged. If it wasn't one there there was always another. "Yeah..Like Grandma says, and Kanye...God don't give me nothing I can't handle. This shit just makes us stronger for what's to come next..as bad as I don't want to see it that way? That I want to complain about it? I won't." Hand reached out to shake her shoulder a bit after that and he sat up rubbing both hands over his face. "You're going to catch the W sooner or later."

(Reply to this) (Parent)